You know those moments where you're laying in the darkness and you want to say so much but simply can't bring yourself to give life to the words that so vividly explain what you're feeling at that exact moment? Lips moving at a painfully slow speed, tracing out each delicate phrase and sentence but emitting only breath and silent pleas for understanding. Bent in half with my knees almost up to my chest to create some body heat, because Lord knows I'm not getting any from you. Letting my imagination paint spectacular hues along the pale yellow wall three feet from my face, wishing so desperately that I could turn around and look up into yours but knowing full well you're turned the opposite direction, too. Tears well up in my right eye and it's all I can do to keep them from escaping and rolling down my cheeks and onto your brand new pillow cases. I'm sorry if I need more than you care to offer right now, but it's too much and too little all at once and I'm afraid I can't keep this up much longer. Every deep inhale leading up to a drum roll announcing nothing, too many inhibitions and not enough open dialogue to let you in on this stupid little monologue I've ran through my mind a billion times. No call, no response. Wait for the morning and leave without so much as a kiss on the cheek, cry myself right back to sleep, you could never be the person I wish you were to me.
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