Things I find unnecessary/confusing/just flat out weird.

Things I find unnecessary/confusing/just flat out weird.

1. The fact that washing machines have about a billion settings. Cold/cold, cold/warm, cold/hot, warm/warm, warm/hot, hot/hot. How can something be cold/hot? That just doesn't make sense to me. I also don't understand what the "loud/no spin cycle" button means. All I can think of when I read that is the "No Spin Zone" with Bill O'Reilly, and then I just get upset and push the "start wash" button.

2. Smoke detectors. No matter how many house fires they may prevent or how many faulty electrical lines they may keep from sparking, they still go off way more often than needed. When I burn a bagel, BEEP BEEP BEEP! When I turn the thermostat on too high, BEEP BEEP BEEP! When I go for the 'crispy crust' option on my take and bake pizza, BEEP BEEP BEEP! I would just really rather not. I have a fire extinguisher mounted by my side door for a reason.

3. Local newspapers. I understand that The Bend Bulletin employs many, many people in this town, but what does it really do? I can't remember the last time I read an article (period) in the Bulletin and changed my mind about an issue or learned something new. On September 11th the tribute article was hidden behind some story that probably followed along the lines of: METH RAID IN DESCHUTES RIVER WOODS, THIRD BUST IN TEN DAYS! It's like, hello, where are your priorities local paper? And when is the last time you saw somebody YOU knew in the Bulletin? For me personally, it was 1998, when Hailie and I were mentioned in the Local section for our services in 4-H (heart, health, hands... and I forget the last H). But do you know what I'm saying? Why is our 'local' paper so un-local? And boring? And adult like? And WHY do all papers have to be so impossible to unfold and make into small, readable squares? I hate newspapers.

4. Why people 'go away' to junior college. Self explanatory.

5. Girls who listen to Sheryl Crow as break up music. Since when are Sheryl's lyrics applicable to angsty single teenage women's struggles? With the exception, of course, with The First Cut Is The Deepest.

6. Why people take notes in church and then throw them away. What is the point of that? Why would somebody take an hour or two out of their day, listen to somebody speak, write down all their 'key points' and quotables, then trash the paper the minute they get home? Isn't the point of writing that stuff down to meditate on it and learn more from it later? Or at least to pray about it, or share it with someone else? I don't know, I've always found this totally bizarre.

7. People who are "against reality television". How can you be against something that is so pure in its nature, so fun loving and free? Find me a person that will denounce the beauty of "The Swan" and you've found yourself a liar. Nobody DOESN'T like reality TV, and that's a fact. People might say they find it stupid or juvenile, or even 'not real TV' in harsh cases, but they're all lying in order to save face and cover up the fact that they are actually emotionally addicted to watching unattractive middle aged women become who they were only in their pre pubescent junior high school dreams through expensive plastic surgery and a new pair of fitted trousers.