Please Don't Talk To Me, I Fall In Love So Easily.

I did love, love deeply.  I will love again.  I can't stand the silence deafening what should be the beautiful space between our faces, pointed at opposite sides of this too-big bed in this too-big world.  I can't look at you, just like I couldn't look at him or the one before him, because I fall in love every time our eyes connect.  I should stop before I'm ahead, but I love a good story and I love to tell it to myself.  Crossing oceans to be away, wishing I could swim them to be anywhere but alone again.  Enveloped in the feeling of nobody's arms wrapped around me, questioning if it's the biting wind or the reminder of solitude that wells up in the corners of my eyes on my way to work each afternoon.  This should set me free, this should be my guide, I should grow here.  But my god I am still so needy.  From the the men I knew before to the ones I grasp onto so tightly now, wishing on some far away burning planet mass that I could keep them in my palm until I'm ready to release them... I knew it could all mean nothing but I can't remember why.  I tethered to a feeling, I'm regretting the expressions, I can't take back the things I said or recount the words exchanged.  How you always end up back here, how I always end up lonely, why he never acted like he wanted me until I wasn't available to be desired any more.  I'll never understand, the mornings come too soon, I'm contemplating whatever decision I made last that haunts me today.  I can't look at you anymore, if I keep looking I'll start loving, and once I start loving I don't stop.  It's so simple, really.  Flip the switch and bury deep inside, you'll move on again just like you've traveled before.