05 March 2012

say it like you mean it

"Do you love him?"  Can a song make me burst into tears the moment I hear the opening riffs and those words that grasp so tightly onto the places of my heart I forgot existed?  Did those words resonate with me so deeply that I can't remember them until I require something to assist in breaking my heart again?  Tear me up, rip me to pieces, there's nothing I'd rather do than cry over you.  Every time I convince myself I don't want, I don't need, your voice isn't the only one I want to hear on the other line, I lose sight of the path I'm so desperately searching for.  Walking backwards has never worked for anyone, so why do I keep trying with feet stepping backwards and memories subconsciously rising to the surfaces of places they are most unwelcome?  I don't know what I need, but I need to give up and move on.  The future isn't ours, the past was never as good as I'd like to believe, and right now the present is more of a disaster than anything.  Broken hearts over unspoken sentiments and forgotten feelings hidden between bedsheets, close my eyes to drown out the sounds you're making as you try to explain yourself.  I just want it to be done, want this feeling to stop.

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