human condition

One of the more painful things I've experienced lately is caring a great deal for people and not having those emotions reciprocated, at least not through action.  I fall madly in love with certain things that I find worthwhile, from people to cities, time frames to photographs.  I've been so attached to a pair of shoes I cried when the soles finally gave out and I was forced with the difficult decision to replace or find a new pair of sneakers to love.  It hurts me a great deal when I feel that connection with another human being, I want so badly to be an integral part of their life and perhaps I fulfill that character for a moment in time, but as soon as it arises it seems to go away.  Some of my dearest friends know that I feel lost without people who believe in me, people who aren't afraid to use the L word, people who I can trust.  I'm a relationship centered being, and I guess it comes down to the fact that I'm just fucking tired of putting in so much effort to connect with people I find interesting or beautiful from the inside out only to be rewarded with an empty call log and pent up thoughts and wonderings I'd like to share, questions that deserve answers.  Friends come and go, and I'm a transient soul, but I like to feel my fingerprints touch lives, and those that have made impressions on me are still embedded in my skin like you wouldn't believe.  If I keep my head up, I can see the colors looking even more beautiful in the horizon.

PS I haven't cried in one month and two weeks.