Here it is, 10:30pm on a Monday night, and I'm sitting here thumbing through a book I should have finished weeks ago and just finishing the skeleton outline for a 6 page book review on said book that's due in a mere 12 hours. I guess you could say my time management skills took a straight nosedive this weekend. I did a bit of reevaluating today, attempted to spend the better part of the day alone and deal with my thoughts and the contradictory situations I've found myself in lately. I hate the things I do sometimes so much, yet I can't seem to harness the courage to change them. So often I feel like leaving everything I have in this life I know behind and starting a new one elsewhere. Not because I need to run from anything, or because I'm unhappy, but because I require such constant change that when I go without for an extended period of time I feel as though my soul is slowly dying, suffocating, drowning. "A darkness carried in the heart cannot be cured by moving the body from one place to another." A fabulous quote I constantly remind myself of when I'm feeling as though the issues I grapple with regarding my decisions and actions and the person I'm becoming is somehow not right, or needs fine tuning. Life is such a funny mess, it can turn so ugly, it can be so beautiful.
I think it's time to rewind again, to relax back into the chair that's always here waiting for me when life gets the worst of me.
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