New Things Old

I think I'm going to start making promises - and keeping them.  Promises to myself, I mean.  Lately I've been too obsessed with making other people happy, with creating fulfillment for others.  All the while I've sat my own needs and desires on the back burner, only to ultimately be forgotten and pushed aside for a later date that never seems to come.  This isn't to say I'm unhappy, quite the contrary, it's more of a personal vindication to awaken within me something that hasn't been in some time.  I'm happy for a shell, I suppose.  I'm content at the end of the day.  But what about what's in between?  What about the morning and the afternoon?  What about the "stuff' of life as people so often refer to it?  I'm going to start reminding myself what makes me happy, not what I can do to level the playing field of happiness for people who don't give a shit about me.  I'm tired of bending over backwards to befriend people who probably wouldn't remember my name if I stopped showing up at their doorstep or calling their phone to see how things are.  I'm not a martyr, I'm not a friend, I'm not good or bad, I'm none of these things.  I'm simply mixed up, and somewhere along the way I've forgotten myself.