So first of all, can I embarrassingly admit that I went to see the new Twilight movie "New Moon" last night? Yeah I know, whatever. I'm an admitted Twilight hater; I don't read the damn books or wait in line for hours to watch the premiere of the stupid movies, but I went anyway, peer pressure is mostly to blame. So, my thoughts:
1. Minutes 1-25: Kind of interesting, minus the fact that I had no idea what the hell was going on! Who is Bella, and why is she standing in a forest by herself with some ugly ass dude with glowy skin and how does she turn into an 85 year old woman in three seconds? Oh, apparently that ugly ass dude is the one every pre-teen girl in the theater is in love with. That's weird. Seriously though why is his skin glowing? Flashback to South Seas dance 2005, spray body glitter for everyone!
2. Minutes 26-60: Sleeping.
3. Minutes 61-70: When your boyfriend's brother tries to eat you alive, that's a deal breaker (copyright Liz Lemon)!
4. Minute 71: Did that Indian kid with the long hair and chiseled body just rip his shirt off to wipe blood off the ugly white girl's face? What is wrong with him? It's raining outside and now he's probably going to get hypothermia.
5. Minutes 72-75: Wait, nevermind. Apparently he's a wolf, or part wolf, because he just morphed into one.
6. Minute 76: Why are some of the blood sucker's eyes amber and others red? Who are these people marching around in red KKK costumes? This is truly confusing.
7. Minutes 77-90: I didn't know Dakota Fanning was the devil..
8. Minutes 91-120: Is it just me or that does blonde vampire look like the mean kid from the Harry Potter movies, you know the one who beats Harry up in Quiddich? Do they just trade cast members around for these movies, or what?
9. Minutes 121-End: This is literally THE dumbest movie I have ever seen. First of all, I hate sci-fi so this was a bad choice, and second of all, this movie has the most retarded plot ever. A vampire family has to run away from a town because there are werewolves there, and some girl gets caught up romantically with one from each team and has to choose at the end? Who wrote this shit and why is every 14 year old girl in the world in love with the see-through skinned vampire with the Jimmy Neutron hair cut? Also, the last scene = total fail.
Besides, Miley Cyrus hates it (http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20320912,00.html) so why shouldn't I?
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