I feel like every year, without a doubt, right around February 13th, single girls around the country start getting reeeal bitter. Bitter that their ex boyfriend is with a girl who ranks about three points higher than them on the sexy scale. Bitter when they walk by the V-day display at Target and see a singing heart-shaped card that they secretly love but will adamantly protest that they hate. Bitter that they're going to force themselves to spend the evening alone, on the couch, in a pair of ugly mismatched pajamas with a bottle of cabernet sauvignon and every single season of Friends on DVD.
Well, here's what I have to say to those bitches: stop being bitter! Just because you aren't currently playing the dating game does not mean that you can't date yourself, and be awesome, and kick so much ass it's undeniable that you pretty much rock at everything in life, ever. Being single has so many perks, it's ridiculous. Let me just name a few off of the top of my head, go: not having to worry about farting in the middle of the night, not having to justify an expensive purchase to anybody, not having to share the last of the rocky road ice cream in the freezer after dinner, being able to and make out with strangers if the urge so strikes you on a Saturday night, not having to ask permission to go out with a specific person or group of people. Not that dating somebody isn't great, I mean it is, and having regular sex is a bonus and getting nice things like presents and free dinners and all that jazz, but being single is nothing to turn your nose up at. You have so many freedoms, the ability to work out life on your own terms, to not worry about which one of your friends your significant other doesn't want you to invite to dinner... sigh. Also, you don't have to worry about being underwhelmed once Valentine's Day does roll around and your boyfriend didn't take you to the place you kept hinting that you wanted to go for dinner, or buy you that stupid necklace you emailed him a link to a few weeks ago, or wake you up with coffee and breakfast in bed (honestly that sounds awful, can I just sleep in?). Instead, you get to be a kick ass individual that can celebrate another random day in February of being a phenomenal human being, with out without a man by your side.
I guess all I'm trying to say is, this Valentine's Day I really couldn't get less of a shit that I'm single. And if you are so wrapped up and preoccupied with the fact that you are, well, then... I feel bad for you. And then also, the last part of this image.
Well, here's what I have to say to those bitches: stop being bitter! Just because you aren't currently playing the dating game does not mean that you can't date yourself, and be awesome, and kick so much ass it's undeniable that you pretty much rock at everything in life, ever. Being single has so many perks, it's ridiculous. Let me just name a few off of the top of my head, go: not having to worry about farting in the middle of the night, not having to justify an expensive purchase to anybody, not having to share the last of the rocky road ice cream in the freezer after dinner, being able to and make out with strangers if the urge so strikes you on a Saturday night, not having to ask permission to go out with a specific person or group of people. Not that dating somebody isn't great, I mean it is, and having regular sex is a bonus and getting nice things like presents and free dinners and all that jazz, but being single is nothing to turn your nose up at. You have so many freedoms, the ability to work out life on your own terms, to not worry about which one of your friends your significant other doesn't want you to invite to dinner... sigh. Also, you don't have to worry about being underwhelmed once Valentine's Day does roll around and your boyfriend didn't take you to the place you kept hinting that you wanted to go for dinner, or buy you that stupid necklace you emailed him a link to a few weeks ago, or wake you up with coffee and breakfast in bed (honestly that sounds awful, can I just sleep in?). Instead, you get to be a kick ass individual that can celebrate another random day in February of being a phenomenal human being, with out without a man by your side.
I guess all I'm trying to say is, this Valentine's Day I really couldn't get less of a shit that I'm single. And if you are so wrapped up and preoccupied with the fact that you are, well, then... I feel bad for you. And then also, the last part of this image.
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