sincerely, someone that wants to be loved by you.

I don't want to be lost anymore. Hope, help, less, I am a mess.  I can't be this strong, I can't handle one more no, one more goodbye standing stranded on the sidewalk left with the fumes from your car that left hours ago and the sunrise to appreciate alone.  I never told you, I should have told you.  Why can't you force the words off of the tip of your tongue when they're hurting you so badly being kept inside?  I can't stop thinking what if, I could have, why didn't I... reality bites back and I realize there's nothing I could have done to remedy the situation.  Lying there the morning I left, climbing back into bed to try and tell you everything I was thinking, I was feeling.  But you left instead, and I exhaled all the thoughts and memories attaching me to you long after you'd been gone.  Cleaning up the mess from the night before, cans with other people's lip marks, cigarettes on the balcony, willing myself not to chase after you and ask you to never let me go.  My heart is a mess, I'm too much of everything all at once and I've left myself in so many places that I'm beginning to disappear when I'm stuck in one for too long.  I want to be with you, there's nothing else I can say right now apart from that.  The distance isn't what breaks my heart, it's knowing that you don't care enough to make it worth it.  Oh, the things I would do to be with you.  Breathing shallow in my chest tonight, I bet you won't even think twice about me.  I hope this helps.