People are so quick to stand up and say that they're fine by themselves, they don't "need" anybody. If only we were all so self sufficient. I sure wish I didn't need to find assurance in other people that I am a worthwhile individual, through conversation and love and connection and sharing. I also wish that I didn't feel emotions for people; my best friends, my mother, my father, people I truly despise, men (er, boys) that I have loved, my brother, myself, people who have drifted in and out of my sphere but always have a way of traveling straight back to my heart. It would be really great not to "need" people, to need you and only you. But they're lying, they're all lying, because that's what we've been taught to do! Pretend you're okay, act like you're fine by yourself, don't rely on others, trust no one.
On that note, why do we greet people with the phrase "how are you" when we really don't give a shit? I would much rather have somebody reply to my "hey, how are ya?" with an honest answer than with a "good, how are you?" Apathy! And I'm no better. The worst is when people say "How's it going, yeah I'd like a tall skinny latte." What the fuck? At least pause for a second after the third word to give off some sort of false sense of hope that you might actually care for one tiny insignificant second about how that person who is about to make your stupid coffee is actually doing! Why even bother? "How's it going, I'm going to spit in your tri tip sandwich because you're a self centered fuck."
Soundtrack:
Jack Johnson - At Or With Me
Sufjan Stevens - The Perpetual Self
Metric - Grow Up & Blow Away
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