What I Know.

"But I love her!"  And he really, really, thought he did.

"You don't have the slightest clue what love is.  You're a boy, boys don't love; they need, they want, they desire.  Men love.  Men figured that all out a while ago, which makes them capable of carrying a burden as tiresome as love.  Boys can't love and you are a boy.  Don't tell me anything about love, or you loving, or doing something for love.  That's simply foolish."  So what if I'm a realist, at least I have some sort of grip on what is truly happening rather than the dreaming world which is a much easier state to exist in, indeed.

I think it all started when you asked me what I knew about love.  What do I know about love?  Well, not much.  For starters, I know that it makes everyday average run of the mill people absolutely stark raving mad.  Women battle their in-love alter ego, whose best friends are jealousy, manipulation, and trust issues.  Men wrestle with relationship woes, the what if's, the ones that got away, the past and the future but never the present.  Love is a stupid little word made for relatively stupid little minds.  Anybody who has loved can't quite identify what love is, where it is found, who exudes it and who runs from it.  It's silly to think that a person could live their entire lives without loving, for everybody loves something, right?

What do I know about love?  I know it made me sad, incredibly sad.  There isn't much else to say regarding sadness.  It also made me incredibly happy, and blessed, and overwhelmed with fulfillment.  But surely that couldn't last, and it didn't last, at least not for me.

I may be something of a cynic, when it comes to love.  "Throughout my lifetime I've left pieces of my heart here and there and now there's almost not enough to stay alive" (Blow).  It's hard, you know?  Deciding where to invest your time and your resources.  Who to trust and who to dismiss.  How to love without passion, how to be passionate about somebody who doesn't love you.  And why?  I suppose you could say I'm a pretty terrible judge of character.  You could say that I'm an optimist disguised in a realist's body in the way that I crave the beauty that I see in my mind in the reality I exist in.  I love opportunity and existence so much that it's hard for me to comprehend people who do not.  This is especially difficult when it comes to expectations, who can handle them and who cannot.  Who to lie to and who to be woefully honest with.  God I'd rather regret something I said then something I kept quiet about.

What do I know about love?  Shit I don't know anything about love.  It's all messed up and upside down and backwards like one of those impossible-to-put-on-but-looked-cute-on-the-hanger dresses.  I suppose you could say that I'm best at answering that question with an entirely new set of questions - but hey at least I stay on topic.  What do I know about love?  Well, what do you want to know about love?


Soundtrack:
Minus the Bear - My Time
Sound Tribe Sector 9 - The Spectacle
Pretty Lights - Change is Gonna Come