Have you ever been attracted to someone's brain? Their thoughts, the things they process and how they process them, the words that are generated up there and somehow always find their escape at the most unseemly times. Cute and childish, strong and supportive, which hemisphere to exercise today? I like to listen, I like to hear and be around people who talk about things that matter - to them, to me, to nobody... yet. Do you ever feel like you have the best conversations with complete and total strangers? It's because they're open, they're free, they're a brand new book with an uncracked spine, and you're allowed to pry because neither of you cares about what kind of impression you are making on the other person, or how they are perceiving what you're saying, or if you get into a heated argument and leave each other unhappy and confused - because you don't know them, and you never really will, for the most part. Greater than meeting, shaking hands. Greater than trying to understand and contemplate and comprehend is really, simply - listening. Allowing somebody to express what is in their head, and hearing them. For them, for you, for the sake of conversation - it really doesn't matter, as long as you open up that line of communication, for communication's sake.
You are the water and I am the seed, growing bullheadedly through miscommunications and doubts, through whatever trials come to errors and whatever trails end up culminating to dust. Two straps of a backpack pulling you toward the earth, keeping you grounded but not centered, and how do you grow? Release the weight, drop everything and run. Feel the dirt and the ants and the little pieces of volcanic rock erupt under the soles of your shoes, practice breathing - in through your nose out through your... oh fuck it, just run. Kick your shoes off and decide on destination: nowhere in particular. Fall in love with the sky, let the low lying clouds and smog from whatever disgusting city you live in envelop you, and forget the difference between the two. Hold your arms out straight in front of you, create a space that you and only you can exist in. Think, stand, listen, trust in the awe that you experience. Fall back to the moment you began, place your feet back in your shoes and listen to what people tell you to do, be who you are expected to be, forget the beauty of understanding nothing and knowing that everything will not be okay. Embrace mundane, tie your dancing shoes up and throw them in a box on the highest shelf in your closet. Watch television all day, have a bonfire of all the books in your library, torch your vinyl records and live life vicariously through your favorite vampire themed sitcom reality show or whatever the fuck it is people spend their time watching these days and nights. Welcome to your new reality. Fall asleep next to somebody you don't love and never will, crying. The weight of your tears positioned in various places across your cheeks is further proof of your emotional existence - you are here, this is life, more importantly... it's your life. Why are you allowing yourself to be trapped in an existence that you despise? A reality that makes you despise the people around you, the words you speak and the choices you find yourself making day in and day out? ESCAPE ALREADY! One way plane tickets, foods you can't pronounce, cities you've never seen, kissing strangers on the mouth, extraordinary circumstances, out of body experiences, whatever you need - take it, it's there for you, waiting. Mantra to repeat when you're surrounded by gray: there is literally nothing in this world that is implausible to accomplish if you wish to do so.
If you want be happy, be.
Soundtrack:
Sufjan Stevens -Casimir Pulaski Day
Minus the Bear - Hold Me Down
Sufjan Stevens - Chicago
She & Him - Sentimental Heart
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