I love songs with a strong bass line, reminds me what I could never do. But God I tried, didn't I try? Hadn't I hoped, dreamed a little, been a bit optimistic? Lean in to me, listen to my heart beat as it slows and my breath becomes shallow and silent with each passage of oxygen from the atmosphere to my lungs. Increasing in size but never bursting, I'm fully functioning and capable of fulfilling whatever dreams you have that could include me. But I'm sleeping, this is what you see. I'm silent, so how can you hear my screams? I'm not tormented, I'm torn. The hardest thing to say to you is the easiest thing to say with my eyes closed. Behind two lids you can't see what I don't want you to know about I feel. I'm not confused, I'm flickering. Give me an inch and I'll take a swim; balancing on my tippy-toes, crawling slowly to the deep end of the pool. But it doesn't matter, it never does. I still won't find you. The hardest part of realizing you were wrong is understanding the context in which you were wrong. You can't create somebody, you can only destroy them. You can't create somebody! You can't make believe with a living soul, you can't play house with a breathing doll, you can't dress up what will only exist in a dressed down state. Nature versus nurture, I know what I want but I can't find it, therefore I try to create it and fail, and inevitably end up accepting that failure and settling for what I do not want but rather what I can find. God I tried, didn't I?
Soundtrack:
Carla Bruni - Those Dancing Days Are Gone
The Temper Trap - Sweet Disposition
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