Welcome To Cards I Have Showing: An Open Post

She's drifting out to sea in a rowboat made for two, alone. Growing inside of her is a feeling of regret, truly, deeply, fully sorrowful. Finally she is realizing that only after you lose what you love can you realize you even love it. And that moment that she was given was passed up due to feelings of inadequacy, wishes of some sort of silver screen romance and a buzzing feeling low in her stomach and a photograph somebody took sometime she can't remember that reminds her. None of this exists, yet all of it is so much more real than she has ever truly seen. Past the mile markers and past the buoys, her boat continues in a steady and straight line. The current carries her down into the shallows and pulls her up again above the rest. And then, as soon as it became wild, it was silent again. No wind, no sails to catch it even if there was. No waves, no starboard deck to spot them from if there were. No noise, nobody listening even if she made a sound. And so, she screams. Louder than ever, as hard as she possibly can, at the top of her lungs, to nobody. And nobody replies the nothingness she wanted to her all along. One hundred and eighty degrees points her back to the only place she's ever called home: land. After many days of this same thing, waking with her face pressed against the cold wooden floor of the boat and spending the daylight hours crying to nobody, she decides. Decision: I must go home. But first, the thought that she has no idea where home is. So many days at sea has created in her a sort of complex, do I stay here where I am familiar to nothing and it is all familiar to me? Or do I return to the place where everything is questioned, where I must interact and pretend and find something to believe in? How much easier is it to be out here, on my own, drifting further until I reach whatever it is at the end of this journey? All I want is you to be here with me, hearing the keys click-click as I type this, right now, exactly where I am. As the 'she's become 'me's and the 'me's become 'I's. This is how much you mean, to me. An ocean apart from whatever I thought about myself before, I am relearning. What else do I say?

How else do I say I love you?