Am I The Same As I Was?

So, this is my 70th post on here. I guess that is something to celebrate. Perhaps in the form of no-bake chocolate peanut butter cookies & a Weeds marathon? This show is seriously so underrated, I'm starting from Season 1 and working my way to the present, I think it's in Season 5? For the last few days I've been downloading really crappy hip hop tracks and feeling sorry for myself because my boyfriend lives a million-bajillion (180) miles away. No, shut up. First of all, 180 miles isn't really all that far, my cousin and her boyfriend have been halfway across the world (literally) from each other for like 5 or 6 months. Austin and I have only been dating for like 2. So helpful to put things into perspective for myself, sometimes. Other than that my life is a whole lot of nothing-nonsense-nobody cares. I started my full time yesterday, have been back in town for a whole two days and my heart is still so far away sometimes I feel like I can barely breathe. I've never experienced a sensation quite like the one I do when I'm with Austin. It's like I can say I love him over and over and over, but I can never fully explain the depth of that which I am feeling. It's like this really heavy weight being lifted off my shoulders (as cliche as that sounds, it's so perfect). I remember when I was a little younger I'd have silly crushes on boys at school, and whenever I'd be near them or talk to them I'd get incredibly nervous and not know what to say. It's never like that, now. I feel comfortable, I feel fully and completely able to be myself 100% of the time. Being with him is like being home. So when he's away I feel, incomplete. Like a literal part of my body is missing and it becomes harder and harder to function the more and more I dwell on it. My heart doesn't hurt, I'm not writing the epilogue to a sob story, I'm just... I don't really know.