Brings Me Closer To Closure

So here we are at the end of April, and where have I been, where am I now? Is there a relationship there? I guess I could say I've been up, I've been a little bit down or in-between maybe, I've been there in your arms & here all alone. Maybe I've been a little crazy? A little confused, a little scared. A little superstitious, I've been tired, I've been at work and of course I've been at rest. I've played, a lot. And yeah, I guess I've struggled. I've said I'll do a lot, and ended up doing a whole lot less. I've experienced and tasted, changed and rearranged. I've learned to love the pillow on the cold side. I've spend all day in bed and all night awake with you. I've lost myself, I've found parts of myself that I never even knew existed. I've gained and given, a little, a lot. I've shared a few laughs, a few drinks, a few tears. All with the same people, I'd bet. I've loved. And sure, I've been loved. I've forgotten what it's like to be smiled at, instead of seeing someone smile. I've pretending it's alright, it's really been alright. Some might say I've lost track of time, but I would say I've just been interpreting it differently. Big question: where does all of this put me now? And I've decided... I really don't know.