Composed In a State Somewhere Between Asleep, Colorado and Coherent.

The light creeping through the shades is hardly enough to keep me awake. As far as I'm concerned, it's night and I'm not prepared for the next day. Whatever it holds can't be as good as whatever I'm able of dreaming it may. Pull the blankets across my face and pretend this isn't just the most lonely state. What a quiet room I have created for myself, void of pictures and lamps and books and shelves. Solidarity is what I'm looking for, close all my windows and shut all my doors. After another of my many mistakes I'm discovering that I need a little more grace. To forgive myself for being so insecure, to forgive you for acting on motives when you were unsure. I don't need explanation or pity or self esteem, I'm fine as I am if you'll allow me to explain. I'm not one for crying even though I'm hurt enough, I've done that far too much and it's never served me all that well. So another stab is exactly what I need to take, not to the heart, not to the chest, but at whatever I will refuse to label my next big mistake.